Toys R Y?

Exhibit A

Lest anyone think I'm some sort of Grinch, merely for writing the heresies which are to follow in this post, I have included exhibit A, which shows just one small area of my house, equipped for one small grandchild; there are other rooms similarly littered cluttered equipped.

I contend that the Big Toy retailers have got us all bamboozled and confused, believing that we absolutely must equip our children for their bright futures by buying every new toy and gadget, educational and developmental, that their Big R&D labs can foist inflict bestow upon us. Certainly all the other parents will know why Johnny can't read when they find out you didn't give him the Scan & Shout 9000 to mold his tender little grey cells. And how can little Amy develop a healthy self esteem without her PC CEO Bobbie Doll?

I'm sorry, folks, we're being hornswoggled. Don't succumb to their blandishments, for the love of Pete! Just let the little tykes be creative with the materials ready to hand.

My toddler granddaughter spent the weekend with us recently. With all of the baskets and bushels of toys at her disposal, she:

• Poked into all the cupboards, finding pots and pans to bang together.
• Built a powerful laser with a mini flashlight
• Removed the lint from her clothes with a barbecue brush
• Created a fashionable necklace from a network cable
• Annotated every piece of furniture with Post It notes
• Used my channel locks to hammer her initials in the patio concrete
• Learned a variant of three card monte, played with beverage coasters
• Experienced the effects of capillary action on cotton as she sat in a puddle
• Mud-daubed the Hand of Saruman on her forehead
• Re-created the Marine Corps' Crucible obstacle course with formerly neatly shelved books
• Conducted a research project on the root systems of potted plants
• Discovered the Archimedes Principle while filling my watering can with rocks
• Got a hands on taste of plant taxonomy picking Granny's flowerbeds bare

How much more educational can you get?

I rest my case.